


Returning Home

by ArisuAmiChan



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Lothering (Dragon Age), Post-Dragon Age II, also i wrote this five years ago and polished it up wth an ending, bc FUCKING TURNIP OKAY, need better title, srsly dog needs its own tag, where is dog, why is dog not listed in the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23503063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisuAmiChan/pseuds/ArisuAmiChan
Summary: The return to Lothering hadn't been part of the itinerary, but they ended up going through the old town anyway. It hurt to see. The memories that were left hurt. And Hawke could still hear their family at the dinner table, talking about the harvest that year before things truly went south.
Relationships: Fenris/Hawke (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 2





	Returning Home

_"They're welcome back, of course. As are you. But after so many years away, would you still consider it home?"_

_"Ferelden will always be my home."_

_"I hope we see you back there someday. We could use someone like you, Champion..."_

* * *

"Perhaps I should have said no instead..." Hawke murmured, the burnt and ruined remains of Lothering a black spot on the land.

"It's not so bad, Hawke! I'm sure we can rebuild!" Merrill hummed, having found a few dead flowers to pick from the ground.

"Don't get your hopes up, Daisy. It may take us a couple years to work up the coin." Varric murmured, itching to write. There wasn't anywhere he could set himself up to do such, however.

"I could steal another relic again. Someone made a post about it in the Hanged Man. I brought the flyer, look!" A piece of parchment was waved around by Isabela as a chorus of 'no' rang out in the desolate land. Pouting, she took a careful seat on a decent looking piece of wood. "You lot never let me have any fun..."

Aveline scoffed. "Four words: Qunari Invasion of Kirkwall!"

"You are never going to let me live that down, are you, Big Girl?"

"No, you slattern."

"Does anyone need healing?" Anders gasped, having wandered off to relieve himself and run back when the shouting started. He was still trying adjust his robes over himself as he walked.

"No one's hurt yet, Blondie. Just keep an ear out for any screaming..." Varric warned, kicking a pebble in front of his foot.

The eldest Hawke child had begun to walk away from their group, voices fading behind them as their footsteps disturbed ash and death.

"Hawke." Fenris had followed, however. He may question the other's choices on what happened, but he would stay with Hawke no matter what.

Crouching to shift through rubble, Hawke hummed in acknowledgement.

"Is it wise to let the Mage live?"

Hawke rose and stood before the former slave. "Is it wise to let any person live?"

Fenris huffed, kicking at what was once probably a piece of a wall. Or a roof of a house or barn. He did not answer his partner.

"Come with me, then. I want to show you something..." Hawke lead the elf around the dead city, pointing out several locations on the way. "That was Dane's Refuge. A lay sister named Leliana played there often when she had the time."

"Sister Nightingale?"

"One and the same, Fenris. That pile of rubble there, that use to be the barn Carver hid behind to kiss a local girl, Peaches. I caught him one day and he nearly pushed her into the river... I got a laugh out of that for weeks!"

Fenris listened, sharing a soft smile as Hawke recalled their childhood in the discarded town. They continued on, Hawke chuckling at memories of a time come and gone. They stopped before a plot of land that still had one patch of life to it. The grass was bright green and survived in the bleak surroundings.

"Oh, no..." Hawke gasped, a cold chill running down their spine as they stared at what use to be their family home. Boots crunching over bones, ash, and burnt wood they ran to where the front door once stood and fell to their knees. "No..."

Catching up with them, the rest of their group joined them. "Hawke!"

The house -one floor with a cellar Malcolm never bothered to finish- was gone. It stood no longer thanks to the darkspawn and civil war. Merrill crouched beside her friend and hugged them gently. "Oh, Hawke..."

"Shit, Hawke... I'm sorry." Varric's voice was a hushed whisper, depression falling heavily over the group of seven.

"It's... Just gone. Father was buried behind the house..." The swing Bethany used was gone along with the tree they and Carver climbed.

It hurt. The lost memories and the fact Lothering was completely wiped off every map of Ferelden. Taking a deep breath, Hawke composed themself. They had to be strong. "We need to find anything of value. We'll have to sell it in the next town or city. Aveline, Varric, Merrill and Isabela are together. Anders and Fenris are with me. Best of luck everyone."

They split into their groups, Hawke standing and not getting to work right away. Instead, they went to the green patch and took a seat, legs stretched before them.

Anders and Fenris trailed behind slowly, allowing their friend time to mourn. "Hello, Father..."

"The grass is still living here... I wonder why..." Anders touched it, the surge of magic that came forth forcing his hand back.

"We buried father back here before the Blight. I guess the magic and lyrium kept the ground fresh..." Hawke explained, laying their hand down as well. "I miss him... Bethany and Carver, Mother as well..."

Hawke shook their head. "Come. We should get to work, find some scrap metal or jewelry."

Standing with Fenris' help, Hawke set off to search the remains of their home for anything that was left. Even with Anders and Fenris, it took them far too long to shove aside rubble and hack away at dead vines.

Blight wolves hovered at the edge of the property and a few well placed fireballs sent them skittering quickly.

Coughing on an ash plume that exploded in their face, Hawke let out a soft cry as they picked something up. It was small and beaten, missing an ear with several patches of mismatched cloth and soot all over but it was just as Hawke remembered.

It was the stuffed Mabari Leandra had sewn for her child. That Hawke had passed to Bethany and Carver when they were too old for it. That lost an ear because Carver and Bethany were fighting over it.

The toy had been a friend in the dark, listening to secrets and stories from the Hawke children. Had seen many a fight between them and survived so much.

And now it survived the destruction of Lothering, as well. The one little piece of home that Hawke had forgotten to pack in their satchel before leaving. Bringing it up to their nose, Hawke inhaled the scent on it.

Instead of home, Leandra and familiarity; Bethany and Carver, the toy smelt of fire, death and blood. A sob escaped their throat, tears falling freely after so long of being strong.

No one other than Charade was left in their family and they had no idea where she could have been at that point. Hawke was truly alone as they sobbed in the rubble of their old home.

Fenris and Anders looked to each other, then back at Hawke. They were finally rising off the ground and wiping their tears with a soot-blackened hand. Their war paint was marred by black, red standing out more than before.

“We need to search. I’m sure Mother left something behind when we fled...”

Hawke carefully packed the old toy in their bag, having gotten what they could of the mess off. It would need a wash in a clean river, but the toy would be okay.

“What ever happened to Turnip, Hawke?” Merrill had come across their search party having found a nice stick for the dog and seen them pack the stuffed animal away.

“With Gamlen. Didn’t want to bring him along...” Hawke murmured, thinking of their pet. If only they could go back in time and bring the dog with them.

Merrill didn’t say anything, leaving them alone again. She tossed the stick away, the wood snapping when it hit the charred ground. She knew Hawke was hurting but didn't know how much until that moment.

The seven regrouped and shared their findings. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to earn them enough coin for a meal or two. Aveline could always do guard work for the next town they went to and Varric could be an information broker for the citizens.

Anders could lend out his healing abilities while Fenris and Isabela could be mercenaries for hire.

And Hawke could do what they did best: help in anyway and cause as much trouble as possible, even if it meant having enemies face them down again.

They survived the fight against the Arishok, after all. Hawke would survive this as well.

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently this was a Fawke fic I wrote. And I hear that portion of Act III in my head thanks to echoic memory, so yeah. Vague Hawke is vague b/c I'm posting this now and well, everybody has a Hawke and their Hawke's different from mine. First fic for fandom, too so yay! Sorry to everybody who didn’t romance Fenris, I couldn’t keep ships as vague as I would have liked and am saddened by this.


End file.
